November 11, 2013


It's been a while. A lot has changed. Like, a lot. I'm not sure if all of the changing things has shaped me or if the change in me is what has shaped everything around me. Either way, it was God hand at work.

Life is different. I'm a mom now. I was a mom before, but now I'm really a mom. With a toddler and a 6 month old. There's no turning back. They are turning into actual kids. Not just tiny babies who lay in my arms all day while I gawk over them and cry about how beautiful they are. I do that sometimes, but usually I'm crying because I stubbed my toe on the bouncer or because I haven't showered in a week and I can smell my own armpits and I have no idea when I'll get a chance to take a shower. Or because there are dirty diapers on the floor of every single room and Ellie Grace is trying to play in the cat litter and the dishes are stacked out of the sink and onto the surrounding counter because every time I even look at them I get overwhelmed and run away. Or because they are both crying and I don't have enough arms or strength to hold them and love them like they need to be loved. But right about then is when the Lord meets me. He picks me up and puts them in my arms and makes my heart bigger. He shows me how to love them like He loves them. He gives me words to sing to them or the the comforting touch they need to know they'll be ok. And it's not because of me, their mama, it's because of His great love bursting through me. That is what comforts them. I just know it.

I pray that there will be more of this. That I will start to share what life looks for us now that Scott is done with the Marine Corps and we are the type of married couple that sleeps in the same bed every night and sees each other every single day. And I pray that I am honest what mom-life is like. That'll I'll share our messes and hardships instead of just the cute pictures of outfits and bubbles. I want to do more of this blogging thing. It helps my heart.

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